The Iberian Cut

Jamón, is that you?

On 28 April, 2025, Spain and Portugal suffered a massive power outage that cut the electricity supply to the entirety of both countries. This, is most definitely how the day unfolded.

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12:35 - In going to make my fourth coffee for the morning, I find that the coffee machine won’t come on and I assume that there’s a power outage in the village.

12:45 - Via surfing social media and seeing friends in Barcelona complaining about the outage, it becomes readily clear it’s Catalunya-wide as the authorities never, ever let the lights go out in Barcelona.

12:50 - Further surfing reveals that it’s a Spain and Portugal-wide outage. No reason is given, but due to the fact that Putin has just announced a three-day pause in Russian attacks on Ukraine, it’s safe to assume the Russians had something to do with it as the timing is far too convenient. Also, various nuclear power plants in Spain were placed into standby the week previously as they couldn’t compete with the low energy cost of solar and wind, but still, it was clearly the Russians.

13:05 - Madness ensues in Barcelona as people are trapped in the Metro, trains, and elevators, but more importantly, Amazon deliveries can’t be made due to large phone network outages and the fact that the buzzers on apartment buildings don’t work.

13:30 - Workers in all cities across the Iberian Peninsula realize that the power isn’t coming back anytime soon and decide to pack it up. Also, it’s lunch time.

13:35 - Citizen, Lluc Serra i Sabater, upon seeing the ensuing traffic madness at the corners of Aragó & Passeig de Gràcia says in a sarcastic tone, “I guess this is the end of the world…” and in doing so officially becomes the 10,000th person to say this exact phrase, in the last hour.

14:00 - The Prime Minister, Pedro Sánchez calls an emergency council in Madrid.

14:15 - The emergency council announces they are looking into things.

14:30 - There is a council update that the things being looked into are both how to get the electricity back on as well as how to find out what caused the problem in the first place.

14:45 - All cafés in Barcelona, Madrid, Valencia, Lisboa, and Porto close their doors after the digital nomads “working” in said cafés were screaming at staff for the past two hours to “fix the fucking wifi”. Closure was necessary lest the nomads began to hurl the one, empty, to-go cup of coffee they bought to drink inside, at the café employees.

15:00 - American tourists start complaining about how, “Everything is closed.” And, “I just don’t get how Spain takes these siestas all the time.” And, “Why is it so hard to get a taxi?” And, “Why do people walk so much in Europe?” And, “Hey, they have busses here too?”

15:10 - British tourists get very, very put out at the state of affairs and make every effort to keep it to themselves to discuss with fellow Brits at a later social date of their choosing.

15:15 - All of the Spaniards take a siesta.

16:00 - The president of the European Council announces that Spain and Portugal have their unwavering support just as long as they don’t actually need anything.

16:30 - A flotilla of disgruntled digital nomads, having been locked out of their café offices set out from Barcelona’s beaches on inflatable rafts to reach what they declare as, “France, connectivity, and freedom!”

17:15 - Awaking from their siesta, the emergency council discovers that nothing has been fixed and the current ideas for the cause of the problems are: “weather” and/or “oops”. Being at a loss for a solution, they do what all Spaniards do when confronted with a problem: call their mothers to fix it.

17:20 - Most council members discover that they can’t reach their mothers due to the majority of the phone networks having collapsed. They later clarify that two mothers were nearly reached but couldn’t figure out how to exit scrolling Facebook on their iPhones to accept a voice call.

17:30 - The non-council population of Spain rises from their siesta to find things haven’t improved, so they head to their local bars only to discover that the ice cream is melting and the beer is at room temperature.

17:35 - The mood of British tourists greatly improves upon discovering the current temperature of beer in Spanish bars.

18:05 - The emergency council realizes they need to do what they hate most which is, ask France for shit.

18:15 - Croissant juice starts flowing into the country at various points as the cities begin to gain power while the country at large remains without.

18:30 - Passengers that had been trapped on the Metros in Barcelona and Madrid arrive to their stops, admittedly with a six hour delay which is more or less on time.

20:00 - Sunlight begins to fade rapidly with only a small portion of the country having regained power. Several million people learn what the term, “black start” means.

20:30 - The Barcelona apartment owners for the flotilla of digital nomads, seeing that they’ve apparently “abandoned” their apartments, hire wayward Eastern European thugs to “move house” for them while then re-listing their apartments in the Eixample district at 50% higher rents.

21:00 - Actor and bard, Viggo Mortensen is interviewed while waiting for a train to Madrid at Barcelona Sants by Catalan TV3. Resplendent in a shirt bearing the Ukrainian trident, he is quoted as smiling softly and stating eloquently in Catalan, “shit happens”.

22:00 - Those with only “local” train tickets realize they’re stranded and head to Red Cross shelters only to discover that both the mattresses and pillows are better than those in their landlord-furnished apartments.

00:01 - The power has returned for the vast majority of Spaniards so they go out to dinner. The emergency council says that they are indeed, still looking into things, and then head out for a bite.